Make 'Em Laugh
Wish I Had on Such a Great Suit and ShoesSo, yesterday I had planned on attending a happy hour of peers and colleagues, but as I left work I noticed that the skies looked rather gray and grim. A pitter patter had developed as I pulled into the grocery store parking lot. Ah well, best get this over with, I thought.
I brought my umbrella in hand and went in. I bought groceries and watched them get manhandled by the 'help'. I walked over to the door and saw what looked like a hurricane: Whipping winds, torrential downpour and the parking lot was nearly flooded from it. Everyone just standing there - gaping, thinking "It will pass."
I can only stand a minute of this. So I started whistling to myself the opening part of "Singing in the Rain." I made sure my umbrella was tightly sealed in its strap, lifted my bag of groceries about chest high in my left hand- elbow sticking out and began to stroll out the door. Deliberately twirling my closed umbrella in the right hand and kicking my soggy feet up- as if I were kicking excess sand off my feet at the beach. I looked up to the sky in admiration as people scurried from their cars to the grocery store, shouting curses with their children - all of them beneath their umbrellas.
Yes, I was soaked to the bone by the time I arrived at my car. And yes, I did pull this stunt once before in New York. And yes this absolutely KILLS people. They laugh, cheer or just shake their heads and smile.
I'm a servant in this world.
Michael Brendan Dougherty
in Oddities
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