Be the Guy, Don't be the Guy Part Deux
Cheers Mate, Let's quit with the Jokes.
It's back. Here it was the first time.
Don't be the Guy Who:
- Watches the Weather channel long enough to see his "Local Weather" twice.
- Is really excited about what Steve Francis will do for the Knicks
- Owns the entire Criterion Collection (exempted if you are a millionaire).
- Thinks Wes Anderson films are "too precious" and overrated
- Just won't wear French Cuffs
- Thinks he can educate anyone on any topic he has read about in Time, Newsweek, or (especially) the Economist.
- Gets excited by Thomas Friedman's ideas.
- Makes tired jokes about Monarchy (We understand that it isn't a modern institution. So?)
- Tells his girl everything because honesty "is the most important thing" in a relationship - when really he is a guilt-ridden egoist and thinks HE is the most important thing in some girl's life.
- Complains about a headache verbally and also offers his reasons for not taking aspirin, or Ibuprofen.
- Spends 2x more on his pants than on his shoes. Ideally it should be the other way around.
Be the Guy Who
- Realized Michael Jordan is overrated and a little absurd.
- Realized that Robert Duvall is NOT overrated - just works too much
- Knows he won't win the lottery, ever - but plays anyway.
- Stopped sincerely repeating "signature phrases" from Sportscenter personalities in his teens.
- Owns at least one comedy with Owen Wilson on DVD. It will come in handy someday, I promise.
- Has taken time out of the work-day to contemplate the most outrageous way to quit and secretly wished he was provoked into it.
- Drives into the lane hard and early, shoots through double coverage, and makes it. This way he sets up the open man on future drives.
- Never drinks with friends until he gets so sick they have to alter their plans for the night. (Exceptions include : girl recently cheated on you or you lost your job and neglected to make a scene.)
- Quietly boycotts things that no one else boycotts. (Example: Gladd garbage bags.)
- Keeps a musical instrument displayed even if hr don't play it that well.
Posted on 2/23/2006 07:26 AM
by
Michael Brendan Dougherty
in Culture
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3 Comments
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Michael Brendan Dougherty
in Culture
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3 Comments
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Reader Comments (3)
So now these lists make perfect sense... :)
Meh, there's some good advice in here, though.
They’re banished from my home, let alone my sleeves. And ever since my apartment was burglarized when I got out of school, the links have also been banished. The only exception are those for wearing the never used since before I was married dinner jacket, of which I have no idea where they are., probably lost by the kiddies.